Internet Dating is HELL 7


Photo: Martin Hunt


That’s what it’s all about, this dating lark, isn’t it? No beating around the bush. We’re all looking for a bit of rumpy-pumpy; a reason to shave our legs, do our bits and use moisturiser after the shower. A reason to engage our pelvic floor on a more regular basis and eat lots of roughage so we don’t aggravate our piles but not TOO much in case we fart at an inopportune moment.

The often-quoted view is that, ‘Men are looking for a shag, women for a relationship.’ Perhaps. I’ve certainly met some men that are looking for series of shags. Like a hobby, like something to add to their portfolio career. They wine you, dine you, always insist on picking up the tab, ‘Oh go on,’ they whisper, ‘Allow me to enjoy myself.’ Then they bugger off, leaving you wondering if you didn’t get 10/10.

And the more time men spend without regular sex, here comes the parental advisory warning, the more they learn to ‘love’ themselves. Never mind whether it’s the, “My wife and I haven’t had sex for ten years,’ team, and my God there’s a lot of them about, or the truly single; it’s hard or rather it’s not, when a real woman comes along. Or not.

And regardless how nice, intelligent or witty he is in emails or on the phone, I know  within 10 minutes if I fancy my date. I admit it, I’m in it for the sex.

But not just the sex, I was with my late husband for 32 years, I know what’s it’s like to be part of a team, to plan, share and laugh together. To feel safe and protected and to lie in bed together at the end of the day and gossip about our friends, their kids and the awful thing they’ve done to their kitchen.I know what it’s  like to care and look after a man I love and who does the same for me. Who accepts me for who I am  including my  irritating habits and opinions, and loves me for them. But sex is wonderful with the right person and sometimes it’s wonderful with the wrong person. Christ yes.

It’s the cement that holds a relationship together and without it, can wrench it apart.  And it cures cancer, heart disease and the probably world poverty, according to the Daily Mail: a

And, shock horror to sensitive souls, semen makes you happier:

I know, you can prove anything if you try hard enough and fix the rules but the one I like best is that an orgasm is better for you than a crossword to ward off senility :

And I can manage that on my own.

More on Monday, have a fun weekend!




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